Point Z is the guttural cry, the kind that takes your breath, the kind that you wish takes your breath. All you had to compare the good and the bad to was point A and point B. God has created contrast in your life like you never had before. In your darkness, you will see so much beauty. If you let them they will feed you, they will support you, and they will give you so much (emotionally, spiritually, physically) that you are left speechless. Your community will gather around you and lift you up in prayer. When a tragedy strikes of course you will feel sorrow, but how could you not see the blinding light of goodness that shines from everyone? Your friends that plan the funeral in a week, your friend that drives all night from states away to be at your side, and your family that loves on your children while you choose his casket. There will be so many people that throw their string over it that soon only little cracks will be open for light to shine through.Īnd while they never will cover that empty space and especially not fill the hole- you will see so much good come from everyone. But you will start to see from the first second how friends, family, and strangers step forward and cast a string over that hole. Your husband's beautiful spirit will create a gaping hole that can never be filled. You were actually paired together by God to complement each other and complete each other.īut let me tell you how you will transform because of this. You realize all that time you thought you were two radically different people that loved each other with no rhyme or reason-you were wrong. You know more than maybe they even knew about themselves. how their heart beats, what their face feels like, and what they smell like. You know what they will say, their secrets.

But when they are gone you realize that you really were one.

You didn't realize that during this time called marriage you actually had become one.

You feel like the basic necessity of your life has been ripped from you. > Destitute: without the basic necessities of lifeĪnd you realize: why yes, perhaps I am a widow. Widow: Old English 'widewe,' from an Indo-European root meaning ‘be empty,' compare with Sanskrit vidh ‘be destitute,’ You are aware enough now that saying that would hurt their feelings or would leave them to protest it isn't so.Įverything you thought was forever is now gone. You screamed your nonsense over his dead body. I am 29 and my life has ended.' You wouldn't say that out loud right now. Your mother drove you home from the hospital and you said out loud in your trance: 'I am 29.'Īnd then you silently thought: 'I am alone. And even then their marriage was cut too short. It's that sweet old lady from church that spent 65 years with the love of her life. It is how you describe a character in a movie. Why would anyone ever want to be called that? That is the box you check on government forms. How your stomach drops, you feel sand in your mouth, and how you automatically reject the title. I am sorry this letter is titled to the 'Young Widow.' I know how much that word disgusts you.

Addressing an envelope to a widow